toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
