wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
