I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
COCAINE IS GR8
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
