The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
