Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
