We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
