I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
