god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
