I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
