he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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