Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
