I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Randomize
