I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
MIDGETS
????
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
