Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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