I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
