Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
