i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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