it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
