Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
