I hope mine doesn't look like that
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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