yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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