the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'm always down for nudity.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
