That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
