i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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