It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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