so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We have started to decorate penises.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
