saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
