I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
