Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
