ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize