My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
