i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
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