I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
