Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Is it penis luge time yet?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
