I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
His nipple licking is glorious
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