So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
