I just cut my nipple shaving
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
