her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
