I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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