ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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