Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
