Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
