Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
