This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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