You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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