We need to rekindle our bromance
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
40s are totally the cure
Bring me that man meat
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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