There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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