wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
