That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Randomize
