yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Who died my cat blue again?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
