I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
