you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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