is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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