please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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